Here are some geek jokes that even non geeks might find funny and worth sharing with others. Many of these are in a question and answer format, you can really have fun testing them on your friends!
1. What will a computer technician do when his car is not working?
Answer: He will close all the windows of his car
2. Question: Why was the Java developer wearing glasses?
Answer: Because he couldn’t ‘C’
3. Question: What did an SEO husband say to his wife after delivery of their twins?
Answer: For the first time I am happy with duplicate content.
4. Question: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: None. It’s a hardware problem.
5. Question: What did a subatomic duck say to another?
6. A programmer’s wife asks her husband, “Get a loaf of bread from the store. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
Output: The programmer comes back home with 12 loaves of bread.
7. A science cat is just unable to put down a book after reading. What book is she reading?
Answer: A book on anti-gravity
8. Why failure is not an option.
Answer: It comes bundled with a Microsoft Product
9. UNIX is basically a simple operating system. Why don’t people get it?
Answer: You have to be a genius to understand its simplicity
10. Question: Why is the PH of YouTube very stable?
Answer: Because it constantly buffers
11. Question: A pessimist sees a half glass of water as ‘half empty’, an optimist sees it as ‘half Full’. How would an engineer react to the same glass of water?
Answer: It is twice as large as it needs to be
12. Give one similarity between Computers and air conditioners
Answer: Both stop working when you open Windows
13. How to tell a plumber from a Chemist
Answer: Ask them to pronounce Unionized.
14. If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
15. Evolution is God’s way of issuing upgrades.
16. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
Answer: Molar solution
17. What is the sleeping brain’s favourite band?
18. Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, “I will have some H20.” The second one says “I will have some H2O too.” Guess which one dies?
Answer: the second one
19. Why did the programmer stay in the shower all day?
Answer: He was using a shampoo that read “Lather, Rinse, Repeat”
20. A WEB developer Walked into a bar and quickly left. Guess why?
Answer: He saw the table layout.
21. There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
Do not bother if you did not get this joke. You are the second kind!
22. A programmer crosses a one way street looking one way. A second programmer crosses the same street looking both ways. Who would you hire?
Answer: The second one
23. A Nerd bought a computer and installed Linux on it. Guess why?
Answer: The Box said ‘Requires Windows VISTA or Better.”
24. What came first – Civil Engineering, Medicine, or Microsoft?
Answer: God created Eve from Adam’s rib – that was Medicine. Before that he created the heavens and the earth from utter chaos and that was Civil Engineering. Now guess who created the chaos?
25. A computer programmer to a philanthropist at a bar: “I can change the world, If you could just get me the source code.”
26. A Microsoft engineer explaining program bugs to his girlfriend who is a playwright: “All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
27. An engineer gets home from work very late and sees a note on the fridge from his wife: “This isn’t working, I’m going to my mom’s.”
He opens the fridge, checks the light, grabs a beer, feels it cold and drinks it.
And wonders: The fridge works just fine!
28. A pet shop is selling three gifted monkeys.
The first one costs $5,000 and the sign reads. “I know HTML and I’m very good with Photoshop.”
The second one costs $10,000 with a sign reading. “I know C++, Assembly and Java.”
The third one costs $25,000 with no sign.
Finally someone asks the shop owner, “What can that monkey do that is worth $25,000?”
The proprietor replies, “I don’t know exactly what he can do, but he says he’s a consultant.”